Revelations about Aunt Susan
Monday, Mar. 03, 2003, 12:37 p.m.

You know something? I always thought (and I know this is unfair) that my Aunt Susan, the only one that my mom still talks to, didn't believe me about any of the things that I'd said happened with Larry (explanations here). I assumed, more or less, that she "took mom's side" of the whole thing. As much as I didn't want this to become something to make people take sides, it, quite obviously, IS something to make people take sides. And since she was the only one my mom still spoke with out of her whole side of the family, it seemed a pretty natural conclusion to draw. But you know what? I was wrong. I was talking with my Aunt Susan when I went down there for Jamie's baby shower, and I found out that she does believe me, actually. We were talking, about Mom and how much I miss her and wish I knew what was going on with her and Dad and Nick... and to a certain extent, even Larry. And I told her about the letter I keep trying to write to Larry. I explained (obviously with a great deal of crying) that I had no problem apolgizing for what I'd done wrong--exaggeration, lies--that I was more sorry than I could say about all that. But that I hadn't been able to write the letter because I couldn't figure out a way to apologize for what I'd done wrong without negating, trivializing, marginializing what Larry did, or being angry, mean, and hurtful. And my aunt told me that she was glad I was trying to write the letter, that she was very happy that I was willing to apologize, and, most importantly for me, she told me that she thought I was doing the right thing in not ignoring what had happened. "You know, I don't think it needs to be a very long letter. But these unaddressed issues can't heal." And she said that maybe taking that tack, I might be more successful in trying to write. I think she might be right. And it's very, very good to know that my aunt can support both of us. Because I know Mom needs the family support... and it's good to know that I can pick Aunt Susan's brain as to the best way to approach her when none of us really know how anymore.

Anyway... I guess that's about all for now. I've gotten up to 2 paragraphs, now, in my letter to Larry. Which is pretty amazing progress, if you ask me. :)

last - next