Ouch...
Saturday, Oct. 18, 2003, 7:40 p.m.

I was going to write a quick post explaining the cause of my sudden dearth of posts (which would be the fact that I stopped posting at work, have obligations after work when I might be home alone, and am not entirely comfortable posting in front of Anthony) except... well... I got a letter back today. It's the letter that I sent. Returned to sender. But not unopened. It was carefully opened, hopefully read, then put back in the envelope, re-sealed, and returned as refused. I started bawling as soon as I saw it. I didn't think it would hit me so hard. But it did. I don't know quite what I think about it, really. I wanted so much for this to just... fix everything... but I knew it wouldn't. It hurts to have hope die, you know?

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